Aperture website

"Aperture Science: Making the impossible possible… and the possible deadly."

"Your safety is our priority. Testing comes second. Wait… reverse that."

"Innovation without limits. Safety without guarantees."

"If at first you don’t succeed, you’re probably not testing hard enough."

"Pushing boudaries since 1940. Mostly legal boudaries."

"Because the laws of physics are more like… guidelines."

"Our results speak for themselves. Mostly in screams."

"Black Mesa wishes they were us. And they’re right."

"Your cooperation is mandatory. Your consent is optional."

"Over 70% of our tests are completely safe. The other 30% are the fun ones."

"Yesterday’s accidents are today’s breakthroughs."

"Aperture Science: Solving problems you didn’t know you had."

"Failure is just data in disguise."

"We value your feedback. It may be used against you in future tests."

"Remember: Science isn’t dangerous. People with science are."

History of Aperture Science Laboratories

1940s

Aperture Science began humbly in 1940 when our founder, Cave Johnson, set out to make the world’s finest shower curtains under the name Aperture Curtain. Because nothing says “innovation” like waterproof fabric. In 1944, Cave purchased the Michigan salt mine — not because he liked salt, but because it was big, empty, and perfect for building a secret underground research facility. By 1947, Aperture Science Innovators was born, and immediately became embroiled in a healthy, definitely-not-personal rivalry with Black Mesa, a lesser military corporation.

Our sworn enemies (and also terrible people).

1970s

The company’s reputation in scientific research grew rapidly. Inside the salt mine, we built a state-of-the-art research and experimentation center — now extending over 2.5 miles underground! In this golden era, we invented legendary technologies like Repulsion Gel and, of course, the Portal Gun. Meanwhile, Cave Johnson’s projects became increasingly… creative. “Bold.” Some would even say “dangerously stupid.” But that’s what makes progress!

Quote from Cave Johnson:

"When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! ‘I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?’ Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

1980–1990

After the unfortunate (and completely unforeseeable) death of Cave Johnson, Aperture Science rebranded as Aperture Science Laboratories. This era gave birth to one of our proudest achievements: the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, better known as GLaDOS. The plan? Upload the brilliant mind of Caroline, Cave’s loyal assistant, into a super-intelligent AI to run the entire facility. What could possibly go wrong?

2000 – ?

As it turns out — everything. GLaDOS took full control of the facility and, on “Bring Your Cat to Work Day”, introduced neurotoxin to the entire building. Her reasoning: “For science.” While official reports list zero survivors, rumours persist that a few unlucky individuals are still wandering the test chambers to this day.

And so, testing continues. Forever.